This is one of those situations that only should ever happen within some cringe-worthy slapstick sketch that pops up on Facebook while you're at work — but this is as real as it gets.
An extremely unfortunate Russian BMW driver got caught in one of these situations when he found himself in between a poo truck and a hot place during a morning commute.
According to a local report, the incident happened in Samara, a small Russian city near the Kazakhstan border. After the driver noticed the smoke billowing from underneath the hood, he pulled over and called the emergency services.
With the fire quickly spreading, the driver decided to signal for help from other road users, and managed to wave down a tanker truck. Unfortunately for the BMW driver, there wasn't any water in the tank, instead just raw sewage.
It was at that moment that the driver had to make a split-second decision, and work out whether he'd rather watch his prized SUV burn to the ground, or cover it in other people's poo.
After the hood was popped open, the source of the flames was revealed, and the tanker driver set about dousing the flames with the world's smelliest fire extinguisher.
As the video cuts off at this point, we're left to wonder whether Private Poo managed to save the poor X6, or if the owner decided to relight the fire when he smelled the aftermath.