This is the PERFECT car ... apparently
A professor of psychology at the Scotland’s Stirling University, Peter Hancock, thinks this is the perfect car.
He surveyed around 2000 people, asking: What is your favourite car? and Which aspect do you find most attractive?
After coming up with around 3800 data points, he identified the most attractive elements of the most popular cars.
Then, instead of — I don’t know — going to a design professor or student, he decided to show off his awful photoshop skills by creating the Mechanical Bottom Feeding Fish From Hell (pictured).
Mini Cooper headlights are poorly cut-and-pasted on to the nose of an Aston Martin DB9.
Rolls Royce Phantom doors have the mirrors of a Citroen C4 Picasso, while the roof and windows of a Lamborghini Gallardo are awkwardly attached above.
The Triumph Spitfire rear end is finished with tail lights from an Audi A1, while the wheels are from a Range Rover Evoque. Though all this makes for a truly hideous Frankencar, what The Good Oil really wants to know is — what kind of weirdo would say they find the door mirrors the most appealing part of a car?
We are the world
■Just after crashing his car into a house and just before vomiting, Florida man Reliford Cooper apparently dobbed in the true offender in the piece — his dog. Cooper assured the police who turned up to arrest him that “My dog was driving that car”. Unfortunately for Cooper the police didn’t believe that and charged him with drink-driving.
■After arresting a 23-year-old man in Baltimore for robbing a shop at gunpoint, police let his getaway driver go free. Why? Because the poor, hapless sap was an Uber driver that Dashawn Cochran — the suspected robber — had hailed after doing the deed. Probably not the best escape plan. At least Cochran got lucky and landed a Lexus. Most of The Good Oil’s Uber rides have been in a clapped-out Toyota Priuis.
Why you little . . .
If you’re a fan of The Simpsons (and who isn’t?) and love cars, you have probably always wanted to know what model Homer Simpson’s beaten-up pink sedan is.
Well, you’re going to have to keep wondering, but you will soon be able to buy a model of it.
First, Homer’s dream car (the vehicle that bankrupted his half-brother Herb) “The Homer” was lovingly re-created in scale by Hot Wheels. Now it is the turn of his unnamed pink sedan to be immortalised in miniature.
The beaten and unloved but incredibly resilient mystery sedan is said by Homer’s mechanic to have been built in Croatia out of old Soviet tanks (which would explain its seemingly indestructible nature). Homer has claimed it was made in Guatemala and exceedingly nerdy trainspotting fans have narrowed it down to possibly being some kind of Plymouth, but that is about as close as identifying it gets.
The Hot Wheels model is a faithful recreation, down to the fetching brown vinyl interior and permanently wrinkled front left guard, though there is no mention of whether it contains a tiny 8-track stereo. It’s $3 The Good Oil will be eager to part with.
Simply speed
Okay, so you know the Good Oil is a fan of a good race livery. If you’re a regular reader, you will have had many examples shoved down your throat over the years. Here is something different.
Instead of a fantastic livery, how about a race car that looks utterly sensational without any kind of livery at all? That’s exactly what Volvo’s new S60 Polestar TC1 touring car for the FIA World Touring Car Championship is. Just look at it! So what if Volvo stated quite loudly that racing was no longer of any interest not that long ago — just look at that thing!
Who cares if, while stating that they would no longer race, the successful V8 Supercar entry was chugging along with New Zealand’s own Scott McLaughlin making a name for himself behind the wheel — but just look at that thing! It is awesome!
The Good Oil’s advice to Volvo — stick McLaughlin behind the wheel and run it in plain black.
You will win and look awesome doing it.
Boosted Nomad
Tiny UK manufacturer Ariel has proven itself rather competent at building most excellent skeletal lightweight and utterly, mentally, fast cars, such as the Atom.
It gets prodigious performance in the time-honoured way of jamming powerful engines into ridiculously light cars, so when it turned its attention to something more off-roadish, things were very promising indeed.
And so it turned out, as the the Ariel Nomad is said to be rather excellent fun off the sealed stuff.
But now Ariel has decided to up the fun factor by offering a supercharged option. The blower added to the Nomad’s 2.4-litre Honda engine will pump out 216kW and 340Nm and add around $13,000 to the $68,000 starting price. Given it will propel the tiny off-roader to 96km/h in a frankly silly 3.4 seconds, the Good Oil can see the value in it.
Number Cruching
19 PEOPLE
The number of employees at the Ariel Motor Company
100 CARS
The number of cars produced annually by the Ariel Motor Company
2 CARS
The number of production cars faster than an Ariel Atom 500
1.6 m DOLLARS
The approximate price difference between the Ariel Atom 500 and the Porsche 918
Boosted Nomad Tiny UK manufacturer Ariel has proven itself rather competent at building most excellent skeletal lightweight and utterly, mentally, fast cars, such as the Atom.It gets prodigious performance in the time-honoured way of jamming powerful engines into ridiculously light cars, so when it turned its attention to something more off-roadish, things were very promising indeed.And so it turned out, as the the Ariel Nomad is said to be rather excellent fun off the sealed stuff.But now Ariel has decided to up the fun factor by offering a supercharged option. The blower added to the Nomad’s 2.4-litre Honda engine will pump out 216kW and 340Nm and add around $13,000 to the $68,000 starting price. Given it will propel the tiny off-roader to 96km/h in a frankly silly 3.4 seconds, the Good Oil can see the value in it.